She take my money when I’m in need
Yeah she’s a trifling friend indeed
Oh she’s a gold digger way over town
That dig’s on me
Now I ain’t sayin’ she a gold digger
But she ain’t messin’ with no broke n——
Get down girl go head get down
~ “Gold Digger,” Kanye West (featuring Jamiee Foxx
Count me in the camp of confused listeners. I thought Kanye West’s wildly popular, catchy, and entertaining ballad about the relationship between a money-hungry man eater and her hard working schlep was a cautionary tale to men everywhere.
I thought the morale of the story was: Men, stay away from gold diggers.
Apparently, I have misunderstood the point of the song all these years. Apparently, Kanye West was not being cautionary as much as he was being descriptive of his ideal woman. A curvaceous, lavish, light skinned, gold-digging woman who would soon get pregnant and potentially leave you whilst taking half of your assets.
This is the only way to explain the logic behind why Kanye is currently dating Kim Kardashian (and is the father of her baby). Just read the wikipedia description for Kim:
…an American socialite and television personality. In 2006, she gained notoriety as the subject of a sex tape that subsequently resulted in a court awarding her $5 million. In 2007, she and her family rose to prominence with their E! reality television series Keeping Up with the Kardashians…
Why hasn’t one of Kanye’s advisors stepped in? Isn’t this relationship playing out in a fashion that is eerily similar to the lyrics of Gold digger?
Cutie the bomb, Met her at a beauty salon, With a baby Louis Vuitton, Under her underarm
Well, allegedly they met years ago and have been friends for a while. But, come on. We all know that Kim owns at least one Louis Vuitton bag. Or two. Okay, I did a google search for Kim Kardashian Louis Vuitton and dozens of pictures came up.
She said I can tell you ROC, I can tell by your charm, Far as girls you got a flock, I can tell by your charm and your arm
Yeah, a gold digger loves the spotlight. Here is what Oprah ascertained from Kim and Kanye:
As exemplified by their Twitter-happy tendencies and mutual love of Nike sneakers, jet-setting, and the limelight, the reality star and rapper (dubbed Kimye) have a lot in common.
If you ———- with this girl then you better be paid, You know why, It take too much to touch her
If you need more proof of the costliness of dating Kim, please see this people.com photo slide show. It reads, Kim Kardashian: From Divorce Drama to Baby Mamma in 5 clicks. So the body count reads, Damon Thomas (divorce settlement), Ray J, Reggie Bush, Miles Austin, Nick Cannon, Kris Humphries (pending divorce pre-nup settlement), and now West.
I don’t care what none of you all say I still love her
In the end, this must be all that matters for Kanye. And I hope it works out. I really do. Because I want people to be happy together in marriage. And I really want children to be brought into loving, supportive, family units – that is still best for kids.
So, let’s hope that the Humphries divorce finalizes so that Kim and Kanye can tie the knot and bring a kid into a stable family…as stable as a Kanye West/Kim Kardashian reality TV hip-hop lifestyle family can be.